On New Year’s Eve Harrison Grieve always dines on oats.
‘I do so because,’ he told his cuz, ‘it keeps away the goats.’
‘How does that work?’ asked his cousin, James Burke, a skeptic from the west.
Harry replied, ‘I keep closed one eye and dab mustard all over my vest.’
Not being a dunce, Burke left at once. Rapidly did he go.
At home his goat did gleefully gloat, ‘See? I told you so.’