THE RHYMING BANDIT

April 7, 2014

Reach for the ceiling Reach for the floor Reach for the window next to the door Reach for the sky Reach for the sea Reach for the bird on the top of that tree Reach for the dog Reach for the cat Reach for your money and put it in my hat

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NONSENSE POEM

April 2, 2014

Nonsense poems are always green unless they’re red or blue. The one below is orange. Hungry I ate a plate of flavored nails, some porridge and a boat. I was still a little hungry so I ate my sister’s coat. I went outside to ride my bike and found to my surprise I was still […]

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NEW YEAR’S EVE POEM

December 31, 2013

On New Year’s Eve Harrison Grieve always dines on oats. ‘I do so because,’ he told his cuz, ‘it keeps away the goats.’ ‘How does that work?’ asked his cousin, James Burke, a skeptic from the west. Harry replied, ‘I keep closed one eye and dab mustard all over my vest.’ Not being a dunce, […]

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THE THANK YOU POEM

November 27, 2013

The silly man danced to the door and sang to me gratitude for clothes he could wear on his nose to aid it whenever it froze I laughed from my place on the floor and sang my own thanks and much more, especially for my garden hose to spray silly men when I chose ‘Ho […]

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HELEN McDOWELL, A NONSENSE POEM

August 27, 2013

I remain on good terms with Helen McDowell. I performed at the gala saluting her owl. I arrived on the back of a robotic dragon. Helen rolled by in her little red wagon. When the concert concluded we all shared a snack of mincemeat and tar paste dipped in shellac.

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MRS. TULIP

May 28, 2013

Mrs. Tulip went to town to buy a brand-new evening gown. The first she saw was sea foam green. A lovelier sight had never been seen. So said the salesfish, standing by, fins on hips, twinkle in her eye. ‘I’ll take it then!’ cried Mrs. Tulip. ‘It’ll match my daily afternoon julep!’

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JOY AND SORROW ON THE FARM

March 22, 2013

O bliss, O joy, O happy day, the vedling cart wed the bale of hay! O mip, O mop, O most sublime, the barn door wept at the bell’s first chime. The bell was happy, the barn door sad, and the cart and the hay were gladder than glad. O clip, O clop, O there’s […]

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