THE RUDE DOUGLAS FIR TREE

June 20, 2014

Douglas-fir

The biggest tree was twice as tall as any other tree in the forest.
“I can see the ocean,” boasted the biggest tree.
“Who cares?” piped up a young Douglas fir growing carelessly by the stream.

“You’re fat.”
“Why, you miserable toothpick, I’ll …”
With great effort, the biggest tree wrenched itself to fall crashing toward the

insolent Douglas fir. The fir, who had been planning for and longing to meet this

moment for fifty-three years, spun quickly away, deftly pulling up its roots and dancing

in triumph around and about and on the fallen giant.
“Missed me! Missed me! And guess what? Guess what? Go ahead. Guess!” taunted

the Douglas fir.
The biggest tree stuffed branches into its ears, closed its eyes and shut tight its

mouth in a grim line.
“No comment, eh?” continued the sassy fir. “Well, listen to this. I’M going

to the ocean! Ha! Walking there! How do you like that?”
And the Douglas fir did walk to the ocean, where it was elected mayor of the small town

there and opened a successful used car dealership and married an attractive plum tree.

 

Moral: Never underestimate a determined tree even if it is rude.

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