There once was a young girl from Earth
whose nickname was Reeb right from birth.
Later, not glumly,
her name became Plumly
when she on planet Boad proved her worth.
Oh, listen to the tale of Zom Falbu.
The roads she traveled were old and new.
Here now, here then,
and sometimes when,
she shifted her shape to help quite a few.
The Blue Fairy Book, the first of Andrew Lang’s folk and fairy tale collections, was published in 1889. You’ll find the monstrous three-headed Red Etin in there searching for a young man who “had not been long in his hidy-hole before the awful Etin came in; and no sooner was he in than he was heard crying:
‘Snouk but and snouk ben,
I find the smell of an earthly man;
Be he living, or be he dead,
His heart this night shall kitchen my bread.'”
Giants seem to have a fondness for reciting how they’ll go about dining on people, don’t they?
Strange Donkie Ledger once did go
in search of the Princess Lorelei Lo.
His oratory flourish
did little to nourish
the bird witch’s hope of a journey not slow.
Here’s an edition of Andrew Lang’s The Brown Fairy Book illustrated by Omar Rayyan. You can read a tale told by Australian aborigines in there. It’s all about a creature called the Bunyip. It’s a good idea to avoid her. “The side of the pool where she lives is always shunned by everyone, as nobody knows when she may suddenly put out her head and draw him into her mighty jaws. But people say that underneath the black waters of the pool she has a house filled with beautiful things, such as mortals who dwell on earth have no idea of. Though how they know I cannot tell you, as nobody has ever seen it.”
This is my copy of The Folio Society edition of Andrew Lang’s The Crimson Fairy Book with paintings and decorations by Tim Stevens. Andrew Lang collected folk and fairy tales and bound them up in his books of color. He didn’t write the fairy tales. Well, how did they get invented then? Andrew Lang said, “It is only plain that, perhaps a hundred thousand years ago, some savage grandmother told a tale to a savage granddaughter; that the granddaughter told it in her turn; that various tellers made changes to suit their tastes, adding or omitting features and incidents.” Those savage grandmothers spun out tales with princes, princesses, kings, queens, hairy men, pipers, ogres, birds, bears, witches, strangers, talking cats, dragons, magic kettles, wishes, impossible tasks, caverns, treasure, trolls, giants, tailors, merchants and shepherds, not to mention glass mountains and golden apples. What’s special about The Crimson Fairy Book? It has one of my favorites, Little Wildrose, in it. It’s a favorite because I like the way the savage grandmother starts it by saying, “Once upon a time the things in this story happened, and if they had not happened then the story would never have been told.”
Orruneries are fiery ghosts
that live in lava and do not roast.
“What jolly fun
to live on the sun,”
sing the orruneries non-stop almost.
I only know snippets of the language spoken on the world of Boad. One phrase occurs repeatedly from the earliest chronicles of Harpo all the way through those of Lace, Bekka and Plumly. ‘Sabeek orrun’ is the phrase, and it means ‘Practice patience’. Most often it spouts from the mouths of elders trying to calm the frantic fidgets of younglings. It’s good advice for anybody, though, young or old, on Earth or on Boad. I’ve muttered it to myself enough times, I can tell you. When you simply cannot wait to see the movie, go to the party, go on vacation to the lake, or even simply get to Saturday, take a deep breath and tell yourself to ‘sabeek orrun’. It works 42% of the time.
The happiest creature on Boad,
Quingcess Blosso has never been slowed.
Exhausting to follow,
she’ll drain you all hollow
dancing up and down road after road.
A portal from Earth opening on Boad,
The Well of Shells isn’t much to behold,
but jump right in,
and you’ll begin
to travel the interdimensional road.
